Friday, April 2, 2010

for ME!

In a perfect blogging world, I suppose one wouldn't dedicate an entire post to themselves, but I've never claimed to be perfect and so here it goes anyway.
Today is my last day in my 20's -- tomorrow I turn the big 3 0. And yes, I know, "you're only as old as you feel," but honestly that doesn't help. I'm still not sure I like the way 30 sounds. I don't feel old and in fact it wasn't until recently that I realized I could no longer pass as a high school student -- talk about shocker! I had an extremely hard time turning 20. I never wanted to leave my teens because they were wonderful to me. I really had a lot of anxiety leading up to turning 20 because I just knew it was going to be a rotten year and come to find out, I was right. Thankfully after I turned 21, life seemed to come around again and all was well. Turning 30 isn't the same though. I'm not having anxiety toward it, I just really never imagined myself being in my 30's -- it always sounded so old. But, here I am on the brink of it and whether I like it or not, tomorrow is going to come and I am going to turn 30 years old. So, in light of turning 30 in a matter of hours, I've racked my brain with as many things as I could think of about why being in my 30's will be great (let's see if I can convince myself).
- All of my child bearing years are over and I can now work on my "body for life."
- I can run 6+ miles, which I wouldn't have dreamed of doing at 21.
- All of my children will enter school.
- I'll return to a profession that I love (other than motherhood), being an elementary teacher.
- Mac will turn 16 years old and get his driver's license (I can't decide if that is something to look forward to).
- All three of my boys should be holding the priesthood.
- I might actually be able to find some quiet time for myself.
- I shouldn't have to sweep the floor three times a day.
- The three trees we planted in our yard yesterday will be big enough to offer us some shade.
- Unlike in my 20's, I shouldn't have to move residences 10 times.
Okay, that's all I've got and I'm not sure I'm convinced yet that it's okay to be in my 30's. Even Mac said the other day that he doesn't want me to turn 30. He then followed up with, "I just like you better in your 20's." Me too, buddy, me too.

Okay, okay, I just read over what I wrote and it does sound pathetically depressing. Looking on the bright side, I really am just happy to be alive and well and to have a wonderful husband and four darling kids to share my life with. I suppose I need to remember that life is a gift and one to be enjoyed and grow from and not necessarily to just count the passing years. While the sound of 30 years is slightly frightening, the fact that I've made it happily along this far is encouraging. So here's to being a better person . . . all 30 years of me! Happy Birthday ME, hope your day is great.

11 comments:

Kim said...

Happy Birthday Jami! You have a great outlook on turning 30. (I for one feel a lot of anxiety for that day.) Hope you get to relax and enjoy your day.

Metta said...

Jami, 30 IS the new 20, or in your case, the new 21. 30 is SO not old, and I really think that you will shine for the next 10 years. Coming out of the childbearing years and growing into your "new you" with work outside the home, a body for life, awesome friends and some romantic getaways with Nate will only add luster to your life. That's my prediction... :-)

Monique said...

Happy Birthday Jami! I hope your big 3-0 is awesome, you deserve it. I'm right behind you next week. Crazy how turning into a new decade brings on so many different thoughts and feelings. As I read your post it amazes me that we are the same age yet our 20's and soon to be 30's are so drastically different. Life is great and although I have some anxiety about entering the 30's I'm also looking forward to what they will bring. You listed some awesome things to look forward to. 30 always did seem so old but now that it has arrived I feel like we are still young. Thirty, flirty, and thriving:) Love ya!

Holly said...

Happy Birthday today Jami! You know, I've been thinking the same thing about turning 30, I'll be right with ya in 9 days. I'm fine with it really, just weird to say that I am 30 YEARS OLD!! I don't feel a day over 23 personally! :) Lots of fun things to look forward too though, and our 30's will be GREAT! Have a happy happy birthday!!!

Burnetts said...

Happy Birthday Jam!! It is crazy that we are at this age. Dave and I drove around USU the other day and realized we are old. Everyone walking around looked like a kid. I was shocked how old I was! Hope you had a good day! Love ya!

Holly and Robert said...

Happy Birthday, Jami!! We are young and still have a lot of years a head of us!! Hope you have had a great day!!

Unknown said...

Happy Birthday, Jami!
Being thirty isn't so bad. I've got two years on you, and I like my thirties so far. When you are in your thirties you are old enough that people take you seriously, but your still young enough to look good. :)
I like how you are not just looking ahead to the next year, but to the next decade. I never thought of it like that.

emandtrev said...

Happy Brithday, Jami! I hope you had a great one. I am now 31, and I have to say--I'm loving my 30s. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better, either. I know it will be a great time for you too. :)

Rachel said...

I HATED turning 30, Jam. It was the pits. I still claim to be 29, and will keep claiming to be 29 until the lie becomes much too obvious. :)

Still... I've had some good things happen and have realized life isn't over just because I've gotten older. Looks like you've already realized that though. You've got loads of great stuff to look forward to this decade! And the fact that you're done bearing children makes it SO MUCH sweeter! That's one thing I'm thoroughly jealous of you over. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Enjoy 29 for the next several years. ;-)

Chantel said...

wow Jami...you are soooo old that you have a friend in her 40's. Want to talk about depressing. Like what Chelsea said "When you are in your thirties you are old enough that people take you seriously, but your still young enough to look good." Well when you are in your 40's everything you say is taken seriously -- even the jokes -- and unfortunately you no longer look all that great. So smile...you have 10 more years to enjoy before you are no longer invited to "play groups" and everyone in the ward thinks of you as one of the "older" crowd.


Oh and by the way HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

The Widdisons said...

Jami,
Turning 30 was SO hard for me!! It still is. I am almost 31 and I am STILL having a HARD time with it! Unfortunately, I don't have any great advice but it is good to hear someone else is having a hard time with it too! It looks like you are a GREAT mom and enjoying it so good luck with everything!