School Time = Alone Time

For years, it seems, I've been counting down the years, the months, the days until I would have "ME time." 

I'm here to tell you firsthand, that "ME time" is highly overrated.

You see, this year I not only sent this guy off to 3rd grade,

and this guy off to 1st grade,

and this guy off to PreK,

but I also sent off for the first time this little girl.

All those years, 9 to be exact, my every waking hour, it seemed, was filled with the "I needs" of 1 to 4 children. It was exhausting and the thought of some future alone time would fill me such anticipation that I could barely wait for the time to arrive.

It's arrived.
And now all I want to do is cry.

So much for "ME time" -- it's nothing but lonely. As my barely 3 year old jumped happily down the hallways of her new school and announced herself at the classroom door with a "HI MISS PATTIE!" I couldn't help but think that I wasn't going to be missed.

Yes, I have to admit that it was nice not having to wake up in the 5am hour to workout, and the fact that I was able to clean the kitchen, vacuum, do 4 loads of laundry, make beds, straighten the house, work on my college classes, take an uninterrupted shower and go to the store all in 3 1/2 hours was a feat that would not have been attained with little ones around. There are definitely positives to having a few mornings of alone time.

On the other hand, alone time does a funny thing to a person -- it gets you thinking.

It's like this summer, when Nate and I got away, kid-less, for 18 consecutive hours. We had an awesome time, just the two of us, yet it seemed a good portion of our conversations were spent laughing, talking and admiring our children. We found that one of the best parts of our away trip was reuniting with our kids. It's the same thing with my three mornings of alone time. I sure get a lot done, but my mind, more times than not, wanders to what my kids are doing. I love the moments when I pick them up off the preschool playground or see their faces, hands waving, waiting in the carpool line.

My family is what makes me tick, admittedly sometimes like a time bomb about to explode if one more kid tells me they're starving and they need another snack, but more often they are what move me along in life. They're the reason I get up every morning and put a smile on my face. They're the reason I scrub the toilets, make dinner and fold endless piles of laundry.  They're the reason my "ME time" isn't as enjoyable as I had always imagined.

Yep, those kids, they proved me wrong. All this time I've waited excitedly for the day when I would send them to school, do a fist pump and finally have some "ME time," and now that I have it I spend it excited to have them back with me.  I guess that's what I get for having awesome kids.

I think I've decided that "ME time" is nice, but family time is SO MUCH NICER!


Side notes about the beginning of the school year:
*Even though Mac didn't get the teacher he thought he wanted, when I picked him up after the first day of school, he happily said, "That was the BEST school day EVER! Ms. Parker is awesome!"
*Jaxton was just as excited as Mac. His first sentence out of his mouth was, "I don't know what Mac was talking about. Ms. Kirby is the nicest teacher ever!"
* Beckam looked up at me just as I was about to take him into his class and said, "I think I'm feeling a little bit . . . scared." I told him that lots of people feel nervous on their first day of school and that I'm sure he would have a great day -- I was right.
*For 3 weeks straight Jilli has talked about preschool nonstop. With each outfit she put on for days prior to going to school she would say things like, "Oh, I can't wear this to school. Ms. Pattie will just want to say "'Oh Jilli you look so beautiful' all day long.""
*The first day I picked Jilli up, the teacher said that she was inside because she had just thrown up. I like to think it was her way of missing me, but in reality I think it was all that built up excitement had to come out somehow.
*The second day I picked Jilli up I found her outside on the play ground bench draped across two teachers. When she saw me she said, "I'm SOOOOOO tired. That's a big day for me."
*The third day I picked Jilli up she told me, "Don't worry Mom, I didn't throw up and didn't say 'I'm so tired.'"